Dumb Riddles

Ten dumb riddles with the answers under a cover, so plain or so silly that they are funny.

Dumb Riddles

What is the opposite of a banana?
What is a clock's favorite game?
What do you call a turtle with a camera?
Why was the kettle asked to leave the library?
Which is louder, yellow or a Wednesday?
A farmer has seven sheep and counts them twice. How many sheep does the farmer have?
Where in the house would you look for the kitchen sink?
What is the difference between a teapot?
What did the umbrella say to Tuesday?
What has wheels and flies?

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How it works

These dumb riddles are funny because the answer is too plain or too silly to guess. Some people call them stupid riddles or bad riddles. The joke is always on the riddle, never on a person.

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Four kinds, from obvious riddles to terrible riddles

The menu under the button keeps one kind. In Too obvious the answer is sitting in the question. Anti-riddles start like a famous riddle and then refuse to be clever. Nonsense holds the weird riddles, absurd on purpose. So bad they are good is the puns.

How to tell one

Ask it with a straight face, as if it were the hardest riddle in the world. Wait while people think far too hard. Then tap Show answer and enjoy the groan.

Tips

Follow a real riddle with a Too obvious one. People braced for a trick walk straight past the plain answer.

Questions and answers

Are these clean silly riddles?

Yes. Nothing rude is in the list, and nobody is the butt of a joke: the riddle is. A class, a family table or a staff meeting can hear every one of them.

What are some nonsense riddles with answers?

Three from the Nonsense set. What is the opposite of a banana? An ananab. Where does a snowman put the month of July? In the freezer, behind the peas. How much does a Wednesday weigh? Exactly one day.

Why are crazy riddles like these funny?

A riddle promises a clever answer. These break the promise: the answer is the plain truth, or no answer at all, and the surprise is that there was no trick. The harder people think, the better it works.

What are the worst riddles ever?

That is a matter of taste, and the set So bad they are good is our entry. What do you call a kangaroo that will not hop? A kanga-won't. What do you call a lazy doorbell? A ding-don't.

All 80 riddles

Too obvious 20

A farmer has seven sheep and counts them twice. How many sheep does the farmer have? Answer: Seven. Counting them again does not make more.
At what hour does the noon whistle blow? Answer: Noon. It is the noon whistle.
How do you get into a room when the door is wide open? Answer: Walk in. No key, no code, no trick.
How heavy is a five-pound bag of flour on a Monday? Answer: Five pounds. The same as on the other six days.
How long does a ten-minute walk take? Answer: Ten minutes. No trick. It is in the name.
How many days of the week have a morning? Answer: All seven. Each one starts with one.
How many legs does a four-legged table have? Answer: Four. Count them if you like.
On which street is the Main Street Bakery? Answer: Main Street. The baker did not want anyone to get lost.
What color is the red barn at the end of Red Barn Road? Answer: Red. The riddle told you twice.
What comes right after the first page of a book? Answer: The second page. Books are orderly that way.
What did the sign that said STOP say? Answer: Stop. Signs are very direct.
What do you call a boy named Sam? Answer: Sam. That is his name.
What do you call the day before tomorrow? Answer: Today. You are in it right now.
What do you call the last pickle in the jar? Answer: The last pickle. And then you call for more.
What do you get when you pour water into a glass? Answer: A glass of water. Nothing else was going to happen.
What is inside an empty box? Answer: Nothing. The riddle said empty and meant it.
What sound does a barking dog make? Answer: A bark. It was barking when the riddle began.
Where in the house would you look for the kitchen sink? Answer: In the kitchen. It is the kitchen sink.
Which is longer: a mile, or a mile in the rain? Answer: Neither. A mile is a mile. It only feels longer.
Who wrote Grandma's diary? Answer: Grandma. It is her diary.

Anti-riddles 20

How do you catch the nine o'clock train? Answer: Be on the platform at nine. No net is needed.
I start out small and green, and after fifty years I am taller than a house. What am I? Answer: A tree. No trick. The candle is the one that shrinks.
What did one wall say to the other wall? Answer: Nothing. Walls cannot talk. They do meet at the corner, though.
What do you call a goldfish that lives on your shelf? Answer: A pet. Its name is probably Bubbles.
What do you call a large brown bear? Answer: A bear. And you call it that from a distance.
What gets wetter the longer it rains? Answer: Everything outdoors. The famous answer is a towel. This is the honest one.
What goes up and then comes down? Answer: A ball. Every single time.
What has a face and tells the time? Answer: A clock. You were expecting something stranger.
What has a hundred holes and lets all the water out? Answer: A colander. That is its whole job. The sponge is another riddle.
What has a roof, four walls and a front door? Answer: A house. Not every riddle is hiding a mushroom.
What has four legs, a tail and a bark? Answer: A dog. Not a table, not a tree. Just a dog.
What has hands and can clap? Answer: You can. A clock cannot, which is the other riddle.
What has keys and really does open locks? Answer: A key ring. The piano can sit this one out.
What has two eyes and can see? Answer: Nearly everyone you know. The needle has one eye and sees nothing. Different riddle.
What has wheels and flies? Answer: An airplane. Wheels for the runway, wings for the rest. The garbage truck is the other riddle.
What is black and white and stays black and white? Answer: A piano keyboard. Nobody said anything about red.
Why did the banana turn brown? Answer: It was old. It did not go to see anyone about it.
Why did the duck walk across the road? Answer: The pond was on the other side. You were hoping for a pun. The duck was hoping for the pond.
Why did the painter climb a ladder? Answer: The ceiling was high. No pun. Only a ceiling.
Why was six afraid of seven? Answer: It was not. Numbers have no feelings. And seven has never eaten anything.

Nonsense 20

A spoon and a half eats a soup and a half in a day and a half. What time is lunch? Answer: Half past twelve. Spoons are never early.
How can you tell that a whale has used your bathtub? Answer: The ring is on the ceiling. And the towels are in the next town.
How do you fit a cloud into a suitcase? Answer: Fold it along the silver lining. Every cloud is said to have one.
How many pancakes fit on the roof of a doghouse? Answer: Green, because a fish has no bicycle. It is no answer at all, which makes it the right answer here.
How many Tuesdays fit in a teacup? Answer: None. And that is the most sensible answer in this set.
How much does a Wednesday weigh? Answer: Exactly one day. Put it on a calendar and see.
What color is a hiccup? Answer: Plaid, on weekdays. On weekends nobody has checked.
What did the umbrella say to Tuesday? Answer: Nothing. Umbrellas only speak to Thursdays. Everybody knows that.
What do you call a sock that plays the trombone? Answer: Talented, and probably lost. The other sock plays nothing.
What do you feed an invisible goldfish? Answer: Nobody knows, but the bowl is always empty. So it must be eating something.
What do you get if you cross a Tuesday with a ladder? Answer: A slightly taller Tuesday. It still comes after Monday.
What has six legs, two heads and reads the morning paper? Answer: A rider on a nosy horse. The horse only looks at the pictures.
What is the difference between a teapot? Answer: One of its handles is exactly the same. The question was missing a half, so the answer is too.
What is the opposite of a banana? Answer: An ananab. It is a banana spelled the other way.
What is the square root of a sandwich? Answer: A smaller sandwich, cut on the diagonal. Show your work in mustard.
What time is it when a hippo borrows your wristwatch? Answer: Hard to say. The hippo is wearing it. You could ask politely.
Where does a snowman put the month of July? Answer: In the freezer, behind the peas. It is the only safe place for it.
Which is louder, yellow or a Wednesday? Answer: The trombone. Obviously.
Which weighs more, a pound of Thursday or a mile of soup? Answer: The soup, but only uphill. Bring a bigger spoon.
Why did the number nine paint itself blue? Answer: So seven would stop reading over its shoulder. It worked, mostly.

So bad they are good 20

What did the bread say at the end of the play? Answer: "That's a wrap." A wrap is a sandwich, and it is what directors say when the work is done.
What did the zipper say to the coat? Answer: "I am really pulling for you." To pull for someone is to cheer them on.
What do you call a bucket that tells everybody your secrets? Answer: A leaky one. A leak is a hole, and a leak is a secret that got out.
What do you call a kangaroo that will not hop? Answer: A kanga-won't. The other kind is a kanga-roo, apparently.
What do you call a knight who is afraid of the dark? Answer: Sir Lamps-a-lot. He sleeps with the visor open.
What do you call a lazy doorbell? Answer: A ding-don't. It lets the visitor knock.
What do you call a potato that keeps putting things off? Answer: A procrasti-tater. Tater is short for potato. Sorry.
What do you call a sandwich that tells jokes? Answer: A ham. A ham is a show-off, and also lunch.
What do you call a turtle with a camera? Answer: A slow-motion picture. It takes a while to get the shot.
What is a balloon's least favorite kind of quiz? Answer: A pop quiz. You can hear why.
What is a clock's favorite game? Answer: Tick-tack-toe. Tick, like the clock. We know.
Why could the sneaker not finish its speech? Answer: It got tongue-tied. A sneaker has a tongue, and it gets tied every morning.
Why did nobody sit next to the sandpaper? Answer: It rubbed everybody the wrong way. To rub someone the wrong way is to annoy them. Sandpaper does it for a living.
Why did the button leave the party early? Answer: It came undone. Buttons do that.
Why did the doorknob feel so important? Answer: Everything turned on it. Including the door.
Why did the glue never win an argument? Answer: It always got stuck on one point. Getting stuck is all glue does.
Why did the mitten fail the test? Answer: It could not put a finger on the answer. A mitten has no fingers to put anywhere.
Why did the ruler lose the argument? Answer: It could only see things one foot at a time. A ruler is twelve inches long: one foot.
Why was the kettle asked to leave the library? Answer: It would not stop whistling. A kettle whistles when the water boils.
Why was the thread in such a bad mood? Answer: Somebody kept needling it. To needle a person is to pester them. Thread gets it for real.

How this list was compiled

Written by the Game Night Generator editors on October 3, 2026: 80 riddles that are funny because the answer is so plain or so silly, in four sets of 20. The wording is the editors' own. The anti-riddles lean on famous old riddles (the piano with keys, the clock with hands, the candle, the towel) by turning them inside out, and the line under each answer says which; the old riddles themselves are not printed here. None was copied from a collection. The list is clean, and the joke is always on the riddle, never on a person. Riddles that another list of this site or our sister site's riddle pages already tell were left out. Licence: own work