Questions to Ask Siblings

Open questions for a brother, a sister or a cousin, each with a follow-up.

Questions to Ask Siblings

What is one thing we should do together this year, just us?

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Which month would suit you for it?

Ask the question. Short answer? Press Show follow-up, then Next question.

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Next step Questions for Mom and Dad

How it works

These 103 questions to ask your siblings come in six sets: when you were little, who remembers it right, things you never asked each other, meeting again or for the first time, cousins, and looking ahead together.

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Questions to ask your brother or sister

Start with When we were little: Which seat at the table was yours, and what happened if I took it? Who remembers it right is the fun set, for arguing over one memory. The cards fit a little sister, a younger brother or an older one.

A new or biological sibling, and cousins

Meeting again, or for the first time is for a biological sibling you have just found, a new sister by marriage or a brother back after years. Its cards are get to know you questions: What music was playing in your home when you were small? Cousins asks about the kids' table and the family tree.

  • For random questions to ask your siblings, take whichever card comes up: the deck mixes all six sets.
  • Short of conversation topics on a call with a sister? Read one card aloud and answer it yourself first.

Questions and answers

What are fun questions to ask your siblings?

Ones you can both answer and then argue about: Who really broke the thing we both got blamed for? Who was the tidy one and who was the messy one, by your count? Who remembers it right holds 17 of them.

What are good questions to ask your sister or brother about you?

Ask what they saw from the other side of the room: What do you tell your friends about me? Which habit of mine do you secretly find funny? Answer the same card back, so it is a trade and not a test.

What are interesting questions to ask your cousin?

Start with the house the family always ended up at: Which room were the cousins sent off to? Which game did the cousins play at every single visit? None of the 17 Cousins cards needs you to have kept in touch.

Is there a printable list of questions to ask a brother or sister?

Yes. The whole list sits under the deck, sorted by set. After a round of 12 cards, the print button turns the set you chose into slips to cut apart.

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All 103 questions

When we were little 18

  • What did our kitchen smell like on a Saturday morning? Follow-up: Who was standing at the stove?
  • What did our street, yard or building look like through your eyes back then? Follow-up: Which corner of it was yours alone?
  • What did the back seat sound like on our family drives? Follow-up: Who ended up stuck in the middle seat?
  • What did we build, dig or set up outside that we were proud of? Follow-up: How long did it survive the weather?
  • What did we get up to when one of us was left in charge? Follow-up: How much of it did the grown-ups ever find out?
  • What did you call me before you could say my name properly? Follow-up: Who in the family still uses that name?
  • What did you think I was allowed to do that you were not? Follow-up: How old were you when your turn came?
  • What was your job in the family when we were small: the loud one, the helper, the clown? Follow-up: Who handed you that job?
  • What were you sure of about me as a kid that you had backwards? Follow-up: When did the truth come out?
  • Which bedtime trick worked best for staying up later? Follow-up: Which grown-up saw through it first?
  • Which birthday of mine do you remember best? Follow-up: What do you remember about the cake that year?
  • Which cartoon theme or jingle did we both know by heart? Follow-up: How much of it can you still sing?
  • Which game did we invent that only the two of us knew the rules to? Follow-up: Which rule did you change whenever you were losing?
  • Which hand-me-down did you love, and which did you dread getting? Follow-up: What became of the one you loved?
  • Which noise from our old home would you know with your eyes shut? Follow-up: Which room does it drop you in?
  • Which seat at the table was yours, and what happened if I took it? Follow-up: Who sits in that seat when we visit now?
  • Which snack did we have to split, and how did we make it fair? Follow-up: Who did the cutting and who got first pick?
  • Which toy did we fight over until an adult took it away? Follow-up: Where do you think that toy ended up?

Who remembers it right 17

  • How did we get to school each morning, as you remember it? Follow-up: Who did we walk, ride or sit beside?
  • What did I do once that you were sure nobody would believe? Follow-up: Who did you run and tell?
  • What did the grown-ups in our house say most often, word for word? Follow-up: Which of us does the better impression of it?
  • What do you remember about the day one of us got lost or left behind? Follow-up: Who raised the alarm?
  • Which family story do we tell differently, and what is your version? Follow-up: Which detail are you surest about?
  • Which moment do you remember clearly that I say never happened? Follow-up: What makes you so certain it did?
  • Which of us was harder to find at hide and seek, and where were we? Follow-up: How long did the longest hide go on?
  • Which pet, real or begged for, do you remember differently from me? Follow-up: What name had you picked out for it?
  • Which rule at home was enforced harder on one of us? Follow-up: How did the other one get round it?
  • Which teacher, neighbor or babysitter do you remember that I have forgotten? Follow-up: What did that person always say or do?
  • Which vacation do you remember as great that I remember as a disaster? Follow-up: Which single moment of it do we agree on?
  • Who ate the last of something and let the other take the blame? Follow-up: What exactly was the last of it?
  • Who lost the training wheels first, and who ran alongside? Follow-up: Where did the wobbling take place?
  • Who needed more coaxing out of the door on school mornings? Follow-up: What finally got them moving?
  • Who really broke the thing we both got blamed for? Follow-up: Where had it been sitting before it broke?
  • Who was faster, louder or bossier at ten, by your memory? Follow-up: Which contest settled the matter?
  • Who was the tidy one and who was the messy one, by your count? Follow-up: What proof can you offer?

Things we never asked each other 17

  • What did you need from me once and not know how to ask? Follow-up: How would you ask for it now?
  • What did you think I thought of you when we were teenagers? Follow-up: How close was that guess to the truth?
  • What did you wish I had noticed about you when we were growing up? Follow-up: What would have changed if I had seen it?
  • What did you worry about as a kid that I never knew? Follow-up: Who did know about the worry?
  • What do people get wrong when they compare the two of us? Follow-up: What do those same people get right?
  • What do you admire about me that you have never said out loud? Follow-up: When did it first strike you?
  • What do you do now that you learned by watching me? Follow-up: Which of us does it better these days?
  • What do you tell your friends about me? Follow-up: Which story about me do your friends ask for?
  • What do you think I got right that you would have done differently? Follow-up: What kept you from saying so back then?
  • What is one thing you would like us to stop arguing about for good? Follow-up: What would we talk about with the time saved?
  • What was it like being the older, younger or middle one, from the inside? Follow-up: Which part of that spot would you trade?
  • When did you first feel like we were friends and not just family? Follow-up: What were the two of us doing?
  • When have you been proudest to say I am your brother or sister? Follow-up: Who were you telling at the time?
  • Which choice of mine surprised you most? Follow-up: What had you expected me to do?
  • Which habit of mine do you secretly find funny? Follow-up: When did you last catch me at it?
  • Which part of our childhood would you pass on, and which would you leave behind? Follow-up: Who would you hand the good part to?
  • Which part of your life do I never ask about, and should? Follow-up: What would you tell me about it today?

Meeting again, or for the first time 17

  • What are you good at that I would never guess by looking at you? Follow-up: How did you discover you had the knack?
  • What did a normal Saturday look like in the house you grew up in? Follow-up: What was usually for lunch that day?
  • What do we seem to have in common so far? Follow-up: Which thing in common surprised you?
  • What do you hope the word brother or sister comes to mean between us? Follow-up: What small thing could start that off?
  • What have you wondered about me? Follow-up: What had you guessed the answer would be?
  • What makes you laugh until you cannot stop? Follow-up: When did a laugh like that last get you?
  • What music was playing in your home when you were small? Follow-up: Which of those songs do you still put on?
  • What pace suits you for getting to know each other: letters, calls or visits? Follow-up: What would a good next step look like to you?
  • What were holidays like where you grew up? Follow-up: Which part of them would you like to show me?
  • What were you into at twelve? Follow-up: How much of that is left in you today?
  • What would you cook to show me where you come from? Follow-up: Who taught you to make that dish?
  • What would you like me to know about your life before we compare notes? Follow-up: Where would you begin the telling?
  • Which name do you answer to with family, and which with friends? Follow-up: Who was the first to call you that?
  • Which of your habits do you think runs in the family? Follow-up: Who else have you seen do it?
  • Which question do you hope I ask, and which do you hope I leave for later? Follow-up: Which of the two shall we start with?
  • Which years of your life would you most like to tell me about? Follow-up: What should I ask you about those years?
  • Who are the people I should hear about to understand your days? Follow-up: Which of them would I get along with soonest?

Cousins 17

  • How are cousins different from brothers and sisters, to you? Follow-up: What can you tell a cousin that is harder to tell a sibling?
  • How would you explain to a stranger how we are related? Follow-up: Which branch of the family tree confuses you most?
  • What did we do at the kids' table while the adults talked? Follow-up: Which cousin got moved to the adults' table first?
  • What did you think my side of the family was like, compared with yours? Follow-up: Which part of that picture was right?
  • What do you know about our grandparents that I should hear? Follow-up: Who else in the family should we ask about them?
  • What do you remember about sleeping over at my place? Follow-up: What was different from the way your home ran?
  • What do you remember about the drive or the walk to see the cousins? Follow-up: What told you that you were nearly there?
  • What went on in the back room at the big family parties? Follow-up: Who was the ringleader back there?
  • What would a cousins-only trip look like, and who plans it? Follow-up: Where would the cousins head first?
  • Which cousin did you copy when you were small, and what did you copy? Follow-up: What does that cousin say about it now?
  • Which cousin was the oldest of the pack, and what did that let them get away with? Follow-up: What did the youngest cousin get away with?
  • Which dish means the whole family is together? Follow-up: Who is trusted to make that dish now?
  • Which family photo of us needs retaking now that we are grown? Follow-up: Who stands where this time?
  • Which family trait skipped you and landed on me, or the other way round? Follow-up: Who in the family had that trait first?
  • Which game did the cousins play at every single visit? Follow-up: Which cousin kept rewriting the rules?
  • Which story about a grandparent, aunt or uncle do you tell that I might not know? Follow-up: Who passed that story on to you?
  • Whose house did the family always end up at, and what was the best thing there? Follow-up: Which room were the cousins sent off to?

Looking ahead together 17

  • How often would you like to hear from me, honestly? Follow-up: What is the best way to reach you in a busy week?
  • What do you want us still laughing about at eighty? Follow-up: Which of us will tell it better by then?
  • What is one thing we should do together this year, just us? Follow-up: Which month would suit you for it?
  • What should our standing date be: a call, a meal or a walk? Follow-up: Which day of the week could we keep free for it?
  • What should we celebrate that we have never bothered to? Follow-up: How would the two of us mark the day?
  • What should we do differently from the generation before us? Follow-up: What did that generation get right that we should copy?
  • What should we promise to tell each other first, before anyone else hears? Follow-up: What was the last news you nearly forgot to tell me?
  • What would make it easier for us to ask each other for help? Follow-up: What is one thing I could help you with this month?
  • What would you like the next generation to say about how we get along? Follow-up: What would we have to do more of to earn it?
  • What would you like us to try once, even if we are both bad at it? Follow-up: Which of us do you expect to be worse?
  • What would you put in a box labeled Us, to open in ten years? Follow-up: Where would we keep the box until then?
  • Which family story should we write down while we both remember it? Follow-up: Which of us writes and which of us corrects?
  • Which place from our childhood should we go back to together? Follow-up: What would you want to check is still there?
  • Which recipe, joke or saying should stay in the family? Follow-up: Who needs to be taught it next?
  • Which tradition falls to the two of us to carry on, and who hosts? Follow-up: Which part of the tradition would you change?
  • Which trip have we talked about and never taken? Follow-up: What has got in the way so far?
  • Whose turn is it to visit, by your count? Follow-up: What should we do when the visitor arrives?